may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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