real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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