at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
