My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
