Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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