just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
honey bunches of taint.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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