So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
