I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I just forgot I was standing up.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize
