we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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