Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
