Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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