You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
