I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
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