Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
