Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize