The brown eye won't let me do that either.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
