critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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