Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize