Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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