I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
