At least make sure they are 18
Why
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
soo... how was my night?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
