The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
