If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
