I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize