did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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