I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
