I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
