Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
