Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
not ubering you a puppy
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize