i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
