No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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