I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
