real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
