no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
