He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
