chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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