He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I think I am morally bankrupt
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
