Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
