i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
