clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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