Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
