'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
