I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
