I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
