do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
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