You can't motorboat a personality
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You are the jesus of drinking
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
