Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
