I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
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