yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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