whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
