I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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