he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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