Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
