Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
