I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
