PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
