So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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