Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
