dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I just threw up on my dentist
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
