Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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