Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
