I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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