Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
